birthday gift ideas 80 year old men
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Pocket Cha
So my dream started and I'm sitting on the bench watching a basketball game. The coach puts me in but I just keep falling down and when I do get the ball I run the opposite way. This dude in a full tuxedo wearing a monocle walks up and starts beating me with a red and black striped snake. The ref then comes over throws a rat on my chest and kicks me in the junk then I appear on top of a very tall building with Steve Erwin! He hands me a stock certificate for Proctor and Gamble tells me to bet on red and then he puts on a jet pack, grabs me, and flies off. He drops me off at the casino in Widsor and flies off again. I walk into the casino and go to the roulette table. Brad Pitt, Gina Davis, Terrell Owens, Will Smith, and Barack Obama are all there and the just keep beating on black and winning everytime! I walk up and set a $20 on red, they all bet on black and it hits red. I leave it all on red, they all bet black again, and it hits red again. They all walk off except for Barack. I leave it again on red and win again. I do this about 10 more times. Barack then pulls out a bag of weed and gives it to me and he walks off. A casino official walks over to me and hands me a check for $80,000 and a room key. I go to that room and it's a giant suite. I walk in the door a these seven naked chicks walk up and start rubbing me down. I tell them I'm married and they say they know. They point to the bed and my wife is sitting there masturbating. She says, "Happy birthday baby... I know you've always wanted a three way but I thought an nine way was 3 times better" I quickly rip off my clothes and jump in the bed but as soon as I hit the bed I fall through land in a pool full of kids. This beautiful woman walks up to me points at my junk and says what's that?
That's when I woke up!
Some background: I'm 29 and married with a 3-month-old baby girl. I've been married for about 2 and a half years I'm in an ok financial state. My sex life is the best it's ever been. I'm not a big gambler. When I do I play blackjack. I've only played roulette twice. I don't even know what Proctor and Gamble make. I never watched Steve Erwin's show. I played basketball as a kid and wasn't very good. I hate rats and snakes and love monopoly.
Any ideas?
I thought it was kind of weird because I DID in fact remember as much detail as I did!
Also this is 100% true. That's why I'm asking. I have better things to do at 12:45 AM then to make $#!t up! really want to know what this means!
Answer
One interpretation: You're on the bench, on a team, and coach puts you in play. Coach is father-model. You as father are not doing the team (your family) much good--your energies are running the wrong way, kind of "falling down on the job."
Dude in tuxedo is formal you: "I'm the father." But it's a penguin-type formality, stiff, out-of-place. The red and black snake is male anger, with which he beats you. The referee tells you you're a "rat," and his foot castrationally emphasizes the point. This is your wife's opinion of you as team player, as interpreted or felt by your waking subconscious, which becomes your dreaming conscious, and which is childlike or childish, depending on how you care for and champion it.
After being disappointed, your dreaming conscious shows its addictive nature: whether porn or gambling or etc., you seek self-esteem, endorphin enhancement, via fantastic victory with the "big players" or "big leagues." Some stars and pols are there, and you are given insider advice by one, which enables you to win over everyone, including the President, who hands you a gift of "weed." You receive a specific amount, an "8," which is a number of prosperity, btw, and a key to a room. You find 7 virgins, as it were, Then you say you're married, good move, and they point to your wife, masturbating. She's a bit lower in virtue than you, so masturbating and suggesting a 9-some is in slutty character.
At that point, wife and 7 virgins sound good, this = marriage, and you fall into a family pool. A beautiful woman, i.e. not so masturbatory-needy, points to your manhood, in a question-open way.
Beauty asks of your manhood a higher usage than wife and 7 virgins in a 9-way; it's called being a father, not merely a husband to a horny wife.
This sums up your awareness of your three-month-old as a beautiful woman who does not need your genitalia in the way your wife is entitled to, but needs your manly love to be beautiful without having to be sexualized or become a sex object in order to feel worth $80,000, etc.
"For Men Only" and "For Women Only," Shaunti Feldhahn, would be excellent co-reads for you both.
"Soul Mates and Twin Flames," Elizabeth Clare Prophet, and
"Sexual Force or the Winged Dragon," O. M. Aivanhov, are also worthwhile.
Reviews at http://www.amazon.com
"Bringing Up Girls" and "The New Strong Willed Child," Dr. James Dobson, are also worthwhile.
Family Problems :( (Fathers day)?
Zach W
Earlier this week, it was my birthday (turned 15; boy) . I waited all day expecting a call from my father (My parents are divorced). I gave up at 7:00 in the evening. I was feeling oretty bad, as even people i didnt know were wishing me a happy birthday on MySpace. At 1130 PM, I got a txt that only read "happy birthday". Im pretty sure he forgot (even though he saw me 3 days earlier and got me a present.) He also blew me off on July 4th and made plans with his friends.
He wants me to go with him on fathers day to some annual father's day car show. we've been going since I was 4 with his friend (whos a weird gay biker). its going to be 80 degrees and i really don't want to go. I called my dad and told him i didnt really want to go. He was mad and tried to put the guilt trip on to me. Then, i asked him about why he didnt call me on my birthday. He had an excuse (like usual).
What should i do? should I go or not? Help me!!!
Answer
In this economy where men are stressed because over 80% of layoffs are men, and you're wondering why he forgot about your birthday? I forgot that Sunday was Father's Day until Wednesday of this week. Men are lucky right now to remember our own birthdays, if someone didn't remind us.
He fed and housed you. If he hadn't picked your mother to be his wife, you would not exist.
It's up to you what to do, but remember, if not for him, you would not have a birthday at all.
Add to any gift a list of the reasons why you appreciate him. Perhaps have it inscribed on a wall plague.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVQP6GL-Ps0
Please don't get a joke card. In my 20+ years of working with fathers, it has been rare that a joke card that makes fun of his abilities is really appreciated.
I wrote this to "Dear Abby" for Father's Day, March 19, 2005.
APPRECIATION FOR JOB WELL DONE IS WHAT FATHERS WANT TO HEAR
DEAR ABBY: Today is Father's Day, so why don't we try to do more for dear old Dad than give him the usual greeting card that promotes the idea that all dads are imbeciles, followed by a collect call to see what he thought of the card. (Father's Day is the day when the most collect calls are made.)
We should treat our fathers the way we treat our mothers on Mother's Day and show them we appreciate them for being there. Yes, you probably tell your father all the time that you love him, but the minds of men work differently. Anyone can say "I love you," but as men, knowing that we are appreciated for a job well done is what really gets us teary-eyed.
Something else you can do -- especially you sons out there (but daughters can do it, too) -- is to make sure Dad has been to the doctor for a checkup, including depression screening. This can go a long way toward making sure he's here on Father's Day next year.
I wasn't raised by my father, but by a stepfather. Although we did not see eye-to-eye on many things, I would not be the person I am today if it were not for him. This man, who spent years climbing on top of heavy construction equipment to prepare the ground for many of the homes, businesses, roads and highways of Southern California, now finds it difficult to get into a car. Although none of the houses or roads have his name on them, they are all testaments to his life and the lives of men like him.
So today, let's do something extra for Dad, without him pulling out his wallet to pay for it. -- George McCasland, Overland Park, Kansas
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Remember, there's a lot of us fathers sitting in nursing homes whose children live too far away to visit. Contact an activities director about volunteering Sunday morning. Read a list out loud about why you appreciated your father.
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