birthday gift ideas girlfriend age 21
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my girlfriend is pregnant with my child. we want to keep it. but we want to know the financial part of it before we make our final decision. i am 14 she is 15. and we have no idea what to do
Answer
Child support is about 1/3 of your income until the child is 18. I'm not sure if you'll have to pay now but you will have to pay when you turn 18.
I hope your relationship goes well, but people do grow and change a lot between 14 and adulthood. You guys might have completely different lives and interests when you're 25 or 30. It can happen that you two stay together forever but most people do not end up with the person they went out with at age 14/15.
I would consider the following whenmaking your decision:
- Where will you two live with your child in a few years? I am assuming you will be living with your parents until you're 18 but after that you are an adult with a family, so you'll need your own place. I would search Craig's List in your town to see what the average rent for an apartment in your area goes for. Make up a pretend budget. Add car payments and gas expenses, auto insurance (ask your parents what they pay, then add a little more because younger drivers have to pay a higher insurance premium), groceries for three people, utilities, (utilities means your heat, electric bill, water, cable bill if you watch TV and use the internet), cell phone bill if you have one, now add baby food, diapers, clothing health care for the baby, and day care costs.
- Most full time jobs that a teenager can get without a college degree or a good vocational training program do not pay enough for a single person to live comfortably on their own, never mind supporting a family. You might be able to scrape by in a really cheap area where the cost of living is low but otherwise you may be caught in a welfare trap. What are you and your girlfriend's career plans? Ask yourself if you'll be realistically able to go to college or complete a training program in your field of choice while taking care of a baby full time. A minimum wage job is great for a teenager but you don't want to be still stuck working at one when you are grown up with bills to pay, those kinds of jobs just don't cut it.
- Child care - Do you have a plan for who is going to watch the child every day while you guys finish high school, and hopefully go on to college? Keep in mind that you will have to be working a lot in addition to your classes. Books, tuition, car expenses and auto insurance are major expenses for teenagers with part time jobs. Most jobs you can get at age 15 or 16 pay minimum wage (cashiering, salesperson at the mall, bus boy or waiter...all good jobs for teenagers but they don't pay a lot) Day care is very expensive, adult working households with two parents working pretty good middle class jobs often have trouble affording child care. Did one of your parents volunteer to stay home and provide child care for your baby, for free? Some teenage parents are lucky and have that option, but if your parents have their own jobs you'll be paying for full time day care. I would definitely call the local day cares and get pricing and see if that is something that is affordable to you.
- Keep in mind that this baby won't stay a baby...he or she will be about six years old when you are still barely 21. You will either be finishing up college or if you choose a trade you will probably still be an apprentice just starting out not making much money yet. Now the child will be in school and asking to join youth hockey, ballet, karate, piano lessons, etc. These things cost a lot of money. He will need nice clothes for school, a lot more expensive than little footie pajamas for infants. He will be invited to birthday parties for classmates and have to bring a gift. He'll want a bike and the video games and toys that all his friends have, lunch money, money for field trips, trips to the movies with friends, etc. Not saying you have to spoil him and buy him everything, but I am assuming you want to be able to provide some of these sorts of things for your child so he or she can have a comfortable childhood.
I would definitely work up a mock budget with the costs of all these basic expenses before you make your decision.
Should I give cash for my kid cousins for Christmas?
Damien
Is giving money to kids (ages 5 - 19) a good idea? I don't want to teach them to be greedy, but I still remember what it was like to be in college with no job. Now I'm still in college, but with a part-time job, so now the world has changed for me.
Answer
I think giving cash to your kid cousins is a pretty good idea. Possibly other relatives will inundate them with "stuff", and cash could be a welcome relief.
To make the gift less "greedy", you might include some tiny thing along with the cash: a Christmas poem, an appropriate, friendly Bible verse, a Christmas cookie or candy cane. Also, put the cash into a nice card. If you want, you can include in the card a short, personal note to each kid.
You might also consider how much you will give each kid--or will you give each person the same amount? I wouldn't give $50 to a five-year-old, and $5 may seem too little for a 19-year-old. You could give to each one the amount equal or near-equal to their age ($5 to the five-year-old, $19 or $20 to the 19-year-old), or give $10-$15 to each person.
I'm glad you're motivated by compassion: "I still remember what it was like to be in college with no job." It's good to give to those who have less than you do. For example, I'm fairly poor, and my brother's girlfriend has given me cash gifts for Christmas or my birthday (Dec 21) for a few years now. I appreciate it!
Merry Christmas to you and yours. He is born!
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